The Edit : Lessons from my daughter, easy pumpkin soup and the power of Pilates

24 May

Editorial

Going with the flow

On the Sunday just gone we had our daughter’s 6th birthday party. Now, for any parents out there, you know what an undertaking organising a children’s birthday party is. It’s big, no matter how ‘small’ you try to keep things. But we only have one childhood, and if I can give my daughters happy memories like fun birthday parties, then I feel I have at least done part of my job as a parent.

There is no getting around the work involved, but what I have learnt over the past few years is to simplify as much as possible. I do not have the funds to hire entertainers or book elaborate party venues, and so I have to keep things both within my financial means and my mental and physical capacity.

I think I struck a good balance this time, and I want to give credit to my daughter for helping me achieve this.

About a week prior to her party, she had been on an excursion with her school. They had gone to an historic site and dressed up in period costume. On the day, my daughter couldn’t find a matching bonnet to her apron (!) but as she relayed the story that afternoon she said, “I just went with the flow!” This is quite remarkable coming from a girl who has always been very precise about how things should be. I was very proud of her (and of course amused at the adoption of a new phrase she must have picked up that day). As the week progressed and her party drew nearer – a recipe for stress when added on top of all the other demands that still required my attention – I kept thinking of her ‘go with the flow’ attitude.’ It not only helped me let go of one or two ideas but also encouraged me to change my plans to accommodate her desires. The cake was a case in point.

My daughter had requested a purple crab cake (it was an ocean themed party) and to her, this meant an iced and decorated cake in the shape of a crab. I am an Australian child of the ‘80s, when the Australian Women’s Weekly Children’s Birthday Cake Book was the bible of kids’ party cakes. Having made the ‘Timothy the Tiger’ cake for her second birthday, I knew how fiddly they were and had vowed to avoid them as much as possible in the future. Hence, my plan was to make a simple round cake, decorated with blue icing, crushed shortbread biscuits for sand, some lollies and one of her mermaid bath toys. I tried to put her off the idea of the crab cake, saying, “well, it depends what Mummy can do…” but in the end, I had to remind myself that it was her party after all.

Perhaps I could be less rigid. I could ‘go with the flow’ and allow my daughter to have sway in what is probably the most important part of a birthday party for a child – the cake!

Was she happy with the result? She was, and not only that but was so encouraging to me as I decorated it, especially as I struggled to coax the icing around the crab’s pincers. “Keep going!” she would say and, “you’re doing great!” It was not a perfect cake, but it was purple, it looked (roughly) like a crab, and she loved it. On the day, she had her lobster costume made by her Dad, a pin-the-claw-on-the-crab game she devised, her friends, and of course, the cake. Embracing my new attitude, I didn’t worry about her muddy knees and resisted the urge to make her change her top when she spilled sauce down her front, remembering that after all, it was her party, on her terms, and that none of that really mattered. Learning to go with the flow is a work in progress for me, but this episode was a reminder that my learning and hers is a reciprocal exchange. I set the tone in how I manage stress and competing demands, but she also teaches me to relax, to be flexible, and to prioritise her perspective over mine more often. She does, after all, only have one childhood to live.

Eat

Easy spiced pumpkin soup

It may sound like hyperbole, but I don’t think there is an easier method for making pumpkin soup than this. Unless you buy it premade, but we are talking about homecooking here! and really, anyone can do this. Not only is it easy, but it’s infinitely variable too. I used to sweat down a mirepoix while simultaneously roasting off the pumpkin and then it occurred to me I could just roast everything together on one tray! All there is to do then is bung it all in a pot with some stock or water, whizz it up and presto, a deeply-flavoured pumpkin soup. I keep it quite thick as it is less volume to store, and then add water, cream or coconut milk when I reheat it later. If you can be bothered, toasting the pumpkin seeds is a nice addition, but if time or energy are lacking, don’t bother (I often don’t). The beauty of this method too is that there is no peeling (apart from the onion) and the veggies can be hacked up in any fashion, there is no need for fiddly dicing. The more surface area, the more caramelisation, so don’t make the pieces too huge, about 4-5cm is just fine. The veggies I suggest are just a starting point, you could add any extra root veg you had lying around - fennel, celeriac, parsnips etc. The apple adds a subtle sweetness, but is not essential.

INGREDIENTS

1.2kg (approx.) pumpkin or butternut squash, skin on, seeds removed* and cut into large chunks

2 carrots, unpeeled and roughly chopped

2-3 sticks of celery, roughly chopped

1 brown onion, peeled and cut into eighths

1 apple, cut into quarters

1 garlic bulb

Olive oil

Sea salt and black pepper

1.5-2L vegetable stock (store-bought or homemade) OR water

Spice suggestions:

cumin, coriander, fennel seeds, chilli
garam masala, yellow mustard seeds, nigella seeds, turmeric
harissa (dried form), cumin, coriander
smoked paprika, fennel, coriander, chilli

METHOD

Preheat oven to 200ºC. Arrange vegetables and apple on a flat baking sheet (use two if necessary) and pour over some olive oil, turning the pieces to coat evenly. Season with salt and pepper, sprinkle over chosen spices and toss again to distribute.
Roast the vegetables for at least an hour, or until everything is beautifully caramelised and dark around the edges - do not rush this as it is the roasting that provides the depth of flavour. If you are using two trays, swap them around halfway through cooking.
When the vegetables are almost done, place the stock or water in a large pot and begin to gently warm.
Once the vegetables are cooked, add them to the pot. Squeeze out the garlic and add that too. Add more water or stock to cover if required.
Bring to a simmer, then turn off the heat and blend with a stick blender. Alternatively, you can use a benchtop blender but wait until the soup is a little cooler and hold a tea towel over the top as you blend to allow steam to escape and avoid a pumpkin explosion.
The soup will be very thick at this stage. Thin with water and maybe some cream or coconut milk, depending on the spices you have used. An extra drizzle of cream or yoghurt, and the spiced toasted pumpkin seeds added just before serving are also delicious.

Note: In its undiluted form, this ‘soup’ is excellent as a base for a pasta sauce or a pumpkin macaroni and cheese, layered in a veggie lasagne, or added to a curry.

*If using the pumpkin seeds, rinse off any remaining flesh in a sieve and then spread out on a clean tea towel to dry. When completely dry, you can either toss them in some oil, salt and extra spice if you wish and roast them in the oven, or you can toast them in a pan on the stovetop. Whichever method you use, keep an eye on them as they will burn quickly.

Explore

(Almost) a year of Pilates with Lottie Murphy

I am the strongest and healthiest I’ve ever been, and it’s thanks to a regular Pilates practice I began in June last year. I was feeling unhealthy and unhappy after a difficult couple of years, and to improve my wellbeing, I had resumed yoga in late 2022, but it wasn’t enough. I needed something more challenging.

I don’t recall how I stumbled upon Lottie Murphy’s YouTube channel, but I felt immediately at ease with her. Warm, professional, and generous with her expertise, I started with her 24 Days of Pilates challenge from a few years ago and still available on her channel. It was this that got me hooked. Throughout the 24 days, Murphy takes you through different length routines, varied intensities, and shifts the focus from upper body, to legs, to core, to mindfulness and more, creating a rhythm that feels challenging but nurturing at the same time. After just 24 days, I could feel I had greater strength and stability, and knew I’d found something I could stick with.

What I like about Pilates is its greater physical intensity – it can really feel like a workout. With two small children, I also love that I can do a 10, 20, or 30min class after the girls have gone to bed and feel like I’ve done something positive for my mind and body. Finding a new routine, or revisiting an old favourite, is my nightly ritual. After almost a year, I have muscle definition I didn’t have before, greater stamina and flexibility and feel more in control of my health.* I can’t speak to other Pilates instructors - and there are many out there - but for ease, accessibility, and diversity I really can’t recommend Lottie Murphy enough.

If you are a beginner there are introductory routines that cover the fundamentals and the core exercises developed by Joseph Pilates. In these, Murphy stresses the importance of alignment, breath, posture and engaging the core. They are also good to return to for anyone seeking a refresh on basic principles. Then there are intermediate and more advanced classes, but none of them are completely out of reach for a moderately experienced practitioner like myself (I have also done some in-person classes in the past). As this is mat Pilates, equipment is rarely used, at most some wrist or ankle weights and on occasion, a band or a ring. I have been quite surprised that simply using my own body weight has yielded the results it has, though I do have some wrist and ankle weights that I use occasionally.

For those with the means, there is a paid membership option which gives you access to her full virtual studio, which includes more Pilates challenges and live classes. Of course, her YouTube channel serves as an incentive to convert visitors to paying customers (she sometimes offers special discounts to subscribers), but she frequently posts new videos available to all. For those of us without the means (yet), this is such a boon and means you can access a range of old and new routines easily.

I can only speak to my experience, and what works for me won’t work for someone else, but if Pilates does pique your interest, and you want some exercise you can easily do at home at any time of the day, I do think it’s worth checking out Lottie Murphy’s YouTube channel.

For me, it’s been the winning combination of a type of exercise I enjoy, a teacher I feel comfortable with, and classes that are varied and accessible.

Perhaps when my time is less restricted, I will try a reformer class out in the real world, but for now, the virtual studio and my mat on the living room floor are just perfect.

https://www.lottiemurphy.com/

https://www.youtube.com/@LottieMurphy

*I want to add that there have been other things I’ve been doing for my health alongside this, such as limiting my eating window and more recently, taking up jogging 2-3 times per week.

DISCLAIMER: The above reflects my experience and opinion only. When starting or resuming an exercise or health regime, please seek professional medical advice first.

meredith birrell